You were a player, and a good one—chapeau!
So many lies, so much deception—but for what?
Just the attention? The meals? The care? The love?
Entertaining so many—and making them unhappy.
The ‘ex’-wife, the ex-girlfriend—all in the mix.
And even this German girl with the two kids.
Who loves you? You asked me so many times.
Definitely not you—because you do not know how to.
I should have known—should have seen the red flags.
There were so many—but love makes us blind.
The biggest of all—I see it now—was what you ate.
Fast food—most of the time, quantity over quality.
Cheap food instead of organic, high-quality meals.
Consumption habits do not change—I had to learn.
Quantity over quality—in every aspect of your life.
You said you wanted peace—but created drama.
I think that I want to find a connoisseur this time.
Who keeps his eyes on the price, not losing focus,
Not only promising eternity but following through.
Someone who knows that hearts are very precious
And that we cannot play around with them—ever!
I forgave you a long time ago—understanding
That it is your nature—to seek attention from many.
I also have forgiven myself—for being blinded by love.
Only if you climb seven mountains of pain,
Cross seven valleys of sorrow,
Reach seven crossroads of despair,
Swim through seven lakes of sadness
Will the blindfold covering your eyes come off.
On that special day
Your heart will open up to receive,
And you will reach the meadows of happiness.
Looking back to the past
You will discover
That happiness was there all the time
As it was in
YOU.
Many months ago, we lost a battle.
Today, we may have gained a war.
Is there no turning back? No second chances?
Even we do not know for sure—pathetic.
There are just too many possibilities
In the infinite universe of opportunities.
Tick, tock, the clock started ticking—today.
We have warned you many times, years,
Through words mostly—books spread the news,
Sometimes even through films and theatre.
We wanted you to understand, once and for all.
That—maybe—there is no turning back,
Once the clock is rewound and starts ticking.
Tick, tock, the clock started ticking—today.
Who says that watchers only watch?
They also protect—as guardians of the light.
Today, many eyes have cried for the first time.
You just do not seem to understand!
Aeons ago it was already written—the curse,
But also the solution—faith, hope and love.
Tick, tock, the clock started ticking—today.
There is still hope—lots of hope if we have faith.
We should never lose faith, hope—and love.
Love is the strongest of all forces,
And yet it is the most forgotten,
As people cannot forgive others and forget.
Get real—instead of sowing war and despair!
Tick, tock, we can stop the clock—starting today.
I have been ghosted recently—after telling the truth.
After finding out that I have been betrayed, cheated on,
Been lied to, manipulated, gaslighted, emotionally abused.
I leave the ghost where he belongs—in my wardrobe.
I have been ghosted recently—I know this is their way.
The way of a narcissist who cannot face the truth.
They know what they have done to you—exactly.
I leave the ghost where he belongs—in my dustbin.
I have been ghosted recently—this is how they hurt us.
For telling the truth, for discovering their lies, speaking up.
They cannot let us do this—their fragile ego cannot cope.
I leave the ghost where he belongs—outside my house.
I have been ghosted recently—narcissistic abuse at its best.
If you cannot supply them with good emotions any longer—
They make sure that you get their bad ones—your own fault.
I leave the ghost in the past where he belongs—and am happy.
There is light in you—as there is light in me.
Why do you give up becoming a better person so easily?
It is not that hard to have moral standards—even if it sucks.
But they make us who we are as a person—and let us grow.
There is light in you—as there is light in me.
I know you will find it if you only search—don’t give up easily.
You talked about morals a lot, but growth comes through action.
Words are like snow in the sun—they melt away so fast.
There is light in you—as there is light in me.
Maybe forgiving yourself is a start, then build on it steadily.
We all make mistakes, but only repeating them is malicious.
Everyone can grow—if there is a will, there is a way, you said.
There is light in you—as there is light in me.
You taught me a valuable lesson, and I am honestly grateful for it.
I released my shadows, my fears, my guilt about leaving you behind,
my anger, my sorrows, my lies and illusions—and last my attachment.
The memories of you I have collected over time,
They shimmer like little pearls—reminding me of you.
I will put them all into a bag and keep it for some time.
I will look at it. I will swear on it. I will cry on it.
And I will put the bag in a hidden corner of my house.
The memories of you I have collected over time,
They shine like little diamonds—reminding me of you.
Sometimes I open the bag that is lying in the corner,
Taking out a memory, looking at it, putting it back.
I then remember—the good times and the bad.
And I will dig a hole in my garden and put the bag in.
The memories of you I have collected over time.
They are in the bag in my garden—reminding me of you.
I go to my garden every day—tending to my bag,
Knowing that my memories are there instead of you.
And one day—not far in the future—
I will dig out this bag and take it in my hands.
And with my strong arms—I will throw it into the ocean.
Gone, the bag of memories that dragged me down.
Gone, the bad memories. I keep the good ones.
BUT NOT GONE the lessons I learned.
BUT NOT GONE the final victory I claimed—
The victory of growth that comes only with defeats.
I still miss the bag of memories—sometimes.
But it has a good place on the floor of the ocean.
Maybe some other fish in the sea will play with it.
Why did I have to leave you when I loved you?
Because you had secrets,
Because you lied to me,
Because you betrayed me,
Because you cheated on me.
How can I know if you kept everything in the shadows?
I wanted honesty and I got deception.
I wanted love and you only pretended.
I do not know what you felt but I know what I felt.
Love—true and pure and stupid.
It broke my heart that you entertained others.
Spreading your energy across women as if it was rain.
But now my tears are falling like rain.
I do not want to stop them.
They heal me and they bring me clarity.
I do not regret loving you—love is hardly a mistake.
It hurts—and will not stop for some time.
Someday, my heart will be healed.
Someday, I will feel whole again.
Someday, I will love again, and it won’t be you.
You are gone, and I cannot find you.
Your spirit is far away, but I can still feel it.
My soul is longing for you.
But my heart knows you are lost to me.
Lost and gone—for ever.
We were not brave enough. We were cowards.
We could not hold onto the gift of love given to us.
We threw it away, carelessly. Both of us.
It was a rollercoaster, and we only had one ticket.
It is used now, our time is up—no second chances.
I look back on beautiful memories, but they are gone.
They are our past—not less, not more.
I wish I had tears to mourn.
But they just do not want to come.
You betrayed me and I let you betray me.
I wanted to stay in my illusions.
I wanted to believe your lies.
I wanted to belong to someone.
I wanted to be possessed by you.
I guess I was obsessed, but it felt good.
Now there are only bittersweet memories.
It feels as if it was never real to love you.
I believe your feelings were never real.
Just my illusions—very real.
And my pain—very real.
I need time to heal now—urgently.
I tell this to myself every day.
But I am still obsessed,
As I am thinking of you every day,
every hour, every minute, every moment.
But those thoughts will be gone—one day.
I will have mourned, and I will have moved on.
Until then I can only hope that my tears will come,
But if they do not come, I will celebrate.
I will celebrate with words—our lost love.
Forgiving is the key to almost everything.
It allows me to release my shadows and embrace the light.
I forgive myself for my fears.
When I am fearful, I feel abandoned when I should not.
When I am fearful, I run away instead of facing my fears.
When I am fearful, I may give up on love.
I sometimes indulge in my fears so that I do not have to face reality.
I forgive myself for my guilt.
When I am guilty of something, I may make wrong assumptions.
When I am guilty of something, I may make bad decisions.
When I am guilty of something, I may hurt others.
I sometimes enjoy my guilts so that I do not have to take responsibility.
I forgive myself for my anger.
When I am angry with others, it only worsens the situation.
When I am angry with others, I feel small and worthless afterwards.
When I am angry with others, I am stuck, and I cannot move on.
I sometimes believe that I am justified in being angry but instead lose my soul.
I forgive myself for my sorrows.
When I am bathing in my sorrows, I am stuck in my past instead of living now.
When I am bathing in my sorrows, I am only thinking instead of acting.
When I am bathing in my sorrows, I allow myself to be sad and low.
I sometimes want to feel sorry for myself, but I only put myself down.
I forgive myself for my lies.
When I lie to others, I deceive them, I mistreat them, I defeat our relationship.
When I lie to myself, I deceive myself, I mistreat myself, I defeat myself.
When I lie to the universe, I only deceive myself and I may receive karma.
I sometimes think that I need my lies, but I try to let them go. At least I try.
I forgive myself for my illusions.
When I am in my illusions, I do not live my life, but I linger in some fantasy.
When I am in my illusions, I cannot acknowledge when I am wrong or right.
When I am in my illusions, I dream of how things could have been.
I sometimes want to linger in my illusions as it feels good, but it only defeats me.
I forgive myself for my attachments.
When I am attached to someone, I do not let them grow, and I do not grow myself.
When I am attached to someone, I may not see that this attachment is unhealthy.
When I am attached to someone, I overprotect them, and I do not protect myself.
I sometimes want to justify my attachments, but I only hinder my growth.
Forgiving is the key to almost everything.
It allows me forgive others easily and to stay in the love and embrace the light.
ADDRESS:
Ash Phoenix Trust
United Docks Business Park,
Marina du Caudan
Port Louis
Mauritius
EMAIL:
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Art • Rino Weida
Photography • Joseph Manglaviti
Website • Paul Darne
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